All Good Things Come to an End?

...Or do they?

I just wanted to reflect up the closing of a challenging semester. I have gained so much from this course, more than any other, this one has effected the way I view the world, people, emotions, and myself. It has taught me the power of people to do good and bad, to be kind and compassionate or judgmental and full of hate. The fact is, those lessons will be with me always, even as the semester closes.

I am in disbelief, and will even miss blogs, questions of the week, and papers that ate up my free time. They were impactful tools in my growth as a person. I feel more equipped to be a good health care professional.

I looked the world clock for our question of the week and I realize as the numbers fluctuate my feelings have completely changed. When I first looked at that clock, I felt shocked, and helpless. I no longer feel that way. I hurt that the number keeps rising, but I DO NOT feel helpless. I feel empowered. With what we've gained here, we can drastically affect that number.

Calling all activists. Let's get to work.

http://www.sexetc.org/story/2992/
This website provides some basic steps to becoming an AIDS activist. Some of them are very involved, and some are simple, like VOTE! Our voice makes a big difference and if politicians would rather fight with each other than to recognize and make it a priority to press the educational system to educate everyone on prevalence and prevention, we need to speak our dissension. One of the biggest things of all is really simple, just prevent ourselves! Use protection. Simple enough.

Walk a mile in another person's shoes...

This class continues to amaze me. It's so rare I can say a class has a profound effect on my views. So much of my course work as an science major has been about facts and mechanisms. I always thought that HIV meant the end of life. I never knew about the life expectancy after diagnosis being many years given the right circumstances. So I think I subconsciously have approached most questions in our assignments with an idea that people who lived with HIV took a few pills everyday. There was no real realization of the life changes that the condition would bring because not only is there a bulky treatment regimen to remember each day, that regimen is also a constant reminder of the virus in their system. I know for me, I tend to overthink, and mull, and relate little things to meanings in life and for me, having to manage my simulated HIV each day for the M&M was a constant reminder of not only the virus but of the complications the virus would bring to my life. The stigmas especially. Even when people were not looking at me differently... taking the pills made me feel like I was, "different", an outsider to the carefree people who could roll out of bed with coffee in hand and go about their day without the worry of missing a pill...

It's a very profound place where I am at in my growth in this class and as a person...
I have to go finish my summary now... :)

What 50 cents can buy you...HIV and AIDS in Vietnam

These days, what can 50 cents get you? Unfortunately not much. I just went to get something from the vending machine and everything was $1.25 or more. The funny thing about that is, according to UNAIDS, most of the more than 1000 people that get infected with HIV in Asia EACH DAY could have been averted with less than half of the US dollar per person.

In the conservative Asian and Vietnamese culture, a lot of things are "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Even as things progress before my eyes, I still notice many things that people refuse to discuss. I think that HIV and AIDS are definitely on that list. Growing up I heard adults talking about AIDS as a joke. Sadly enough, it was a joke that people said plagued the promiscuous girls. I once heard a man say, "Don't you touch her, she's got AIDS bugs jumping all over her." Ridiculous to us, but it's really sad...ignorant... and risky to keep thinking that way.


Some Facts at a Glance... (From UNAIDS Viet Nam)
Did you know?...

*Prevalence in the general population is estimated at 0.53%.
*According to the 2005 Estimation and Projection Report, there were an estimated 293,000 people living with HIV in 2007.
*Of all reported HIV cases, 78.9% are in the age group 20–39, with males accounting for 85.2% of total reported HIV cases.
*People living with HIV are getting younger and heterosexual transmission is becoming more significant.
*As of 31 August 2007 were 132,628 cases of HIV and 26,828 cases of AIDS. There have been a total of 15,007 deaths due to AIDS in Viet Nam.

In a country as small and as impoverished as Vietnam, 15,007 deaths is huge. I can't help but wonder if many of those people did not received all the possible treatments they could have due to not only the level of poverty many of the high risk populations possess but also because of the stigma of discussing anything sex-related, or anything involving HIV/AIDS.

I was so proud of myself after last week's quizzes... and especially on the questions that involved the Myths regarding HIV... I continue to be confident that we are learning more than any of us expected or had set out to.


http://www.unaids.org.vn/sitee/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=413&Itemid=1

So I've had a lot of time to think the past couple of weeks. After facing the painful loss of someone I loved recently, I've been reflecting a lot about time and about life. The question of the week this week really hit me hard. I realize how precious time is... so I've been thinking a lot about those people who have loved ones who are battle HIV and AIDS on a daily basis. I've been trying to consider what the "battle" is.

With viable treatment options, is the battle all the medications they must remember to take?
Is it affording the ARV drugs?
Is it the doctor's visits?
Is it worrying about what others will think?
Is it the worry that any condition brings that you may miss out seeing a milestone of your child?

I'm sure it's a combination of all those things and more. And this week, I feel a special emotional connection towards those people. I know a lot of my peers have brought up the concept of "quality of life". I think quality of life is defined on an individual basis. Some people think having to take medicines everyday is a diminished quality of life.

I think that a life without those I love is meaningless, but as long as I have them, I would have something to live for. As an extension to my question of the week I realize now that we have to continue improving treatment options. We may be racing to the cure for a long time before we get there... but the better our drugs get, and the more we know about the virus, the lesser the burden on those who are HIV positive. If those drugs allow someone to live a little longer and love a little more of those around them, I think that is a huge blessing. Being HIV positive no longer has to mean a couple of years left to live, it means a lifestyle change, and sacrifice, but thanks to those who have care enough to research the condition, people now have options to prolong their lives many years. It's still a burden, but one that many people are proving can be lived with. I do believe that the stigma, although still very existent, is starting to lift little by little by those who care. People like our professors and those in this class who refuse to be a part of the ignorance are making the difference and I am so proud to be witnessing it. There is still much work to be done. I just can't stress how important love is right now. I know it probably sounds so corny, but love today, love now. It's the best time. Leave nothing unsaid that could lift someone's spirits. Those sentiments and time are priceless.

As for a Did You Know?
http://www.npaihb.org/images/epicenter_docs/aids/2008/Adult%20HIV%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf

This is a PDF regarding American Indians and Alaskan Natives. They are not perhaps the demographic that we first think of when we think of HIV. After being in this class, I realize the dangers of stereotypes. This is a call from American Indians and Alaskan natives to their brothers and sisters within their cultures to "Stop the Silence". They even mention how stigma is costing lives. I think a lot can be learned from this. It's a reminder of how global HIV is... it's a threat to everyone. It all goes back to that common theme.

Post #5-The POST! (It plays to be a good citizen.)

So continuing on from my discussion post, I realize how much I continue to grow every day from this class. The accident I described was very much a private thing I didn't share with many people before today. I struggled every since that accident to continue to believe that despite people like that driver that hit me and ran that day, that there are plenty good people in the world, and plenty of good deeds done. What always upset me the most was that that man did not just total my car, a graduation present from my parents who had worked so hard to save and get it for me. He didn't just cost me thousands of dollars in damage that wasn't my fault that I would work a year to make up repair and replace, but he stole away so much more than that. He stole away my sense of security. I felt a heighten sense of risk every time I walked out the door. He stole away my faith in people, and if I couldn't believe in love and people I see all the time, how could I not question my faith in a God I couldn't see? It was a turbulent time in my life. But I have grown so much from it, just as I have this class.

I've learned that there is a risk in everything we do. Every step we take. Every decision we make. Small, large... Anything could happen, at any second. What we do with each breath makes all the difference, or no difference at all.

So would helping a person a bleeding person on the side of the road who could potentially have HIV, who most likely does since they have mumbled something about it be a risk? It would be. Is the risk worth it? I think it's important to self reflect here. What if it were you? There would be no question you'd want someone to help you.

I was looking hard to find a way to relate this back to my focus area of Women and HIV. The degrees of separation, but I find this topic seems human more than either gender. So I go back to, did you know?

Did you know that... turning our heads the other way is a very human trait? May it is more of a flaw. If you guys have ever turned on E! or Oprah, it's nearly impossible that you haven't heard of actor, Tyler Perry. In his blog he describes a run in he has with a homeless woman with AIDS. He describes all the feelings I know are familiar to me, like how he hope she wouldn't approach him, and how he kept expecting her sales pitch for money. It turns out that her family had turn their backs on her and she was delayed placement in a shelter because she had been diagnosed with AIDS.

You can read it here: http://hivaidsandme.wordpress.com/2007/08/08/tyler-perry-reflects-on-helping-a-homeless-woman-with-aids/

It was very touching. Even celebrities feel the way we do, and even a celebrity like Tyler Perry was humbled by the woman in this story. I hope you will check it out. I really moved me.

Also, did you know that there is a organization called "The Global Coalition on Women and AIDS"? It is a wealth of information and provides support to women all over the world, working with other groups as well as the United Nations. They don't just support the cause to protect women and girls but one of their "key principles" is to engage men and boys, it about "uniting the world against AIDS". They have 8 areas of focus they'd like to use for change:

"Preventing HIV infections among women and girls
Reducing violence against women
Protecting property and inheritance rights of women and girls
Ensuring equal access to treatment and care for women
Supporting improved and properly resourced community-based care
Promoting access to new prevention options that women can initiate, including the female condom and microbicides
Supporting ongoing efforts towards universal education for girls
Promoting women’s leadership in global, national and community response to AIDS."

They are absolutely awesome. They tackle all levels of prevention, (primary, secondary and teritary.)

They can be found at: http://womenandaids.unaids.org .

Post #5-(Preface)-It pays to be a good citizen.

So I wanted to just continue with the theme of the question of the week.
Here was my post:

"You can never be to prepared. I get made fun of all the time for having everything in my bag from hand sanitizer, a mini bottle of Lysol, to get this... a CPR Kit! I won it at my CPR certification for helping the instructor take the 3 huge boxes of dummies out to his car in the parking garage 4 miles away from the Union. I also have a full First Aid Kit in the car, and equip with gloves. I would be fully ready for this situation as far as equipment but what about my nerves? I think that would be the biggest barrier here. Would I be mentally ready to handle that situation?

I hope so. Imagining these situations really tests my faith in myself, not only my potential to be a medical professional, but also the strength I possess as a person. I hope and believe that my character would overcome my fear here. About a year or two ago, I was in a bad accident. I was just driving home from work, minding my own business, seatbelt on, paying attention to the road when a car came out of no where... no lights... cut through two lanes of traffic and totaled my car leaving me trapped inside the vehicle. It was the worst possible time to have an asthma attack, which is exactly what I had. I was trapped in the car, gasping for air. The man who hit me came out of the car, tapped on my window, asked me if I was all right, and proceeded to watch me, what looked like to him I'm sure, dying. A wonderful woman came out of her house to ask both of us if we were all right when the man told her to go back into her house right away, as he ran back to his car unscathed and sped away. The police never found him.

She stayed with me until the paramedics came, trying to get me out of the car. She probably saved my life by calling 911. She didn't hesitate for a second although I easily could have had something infectious, I couldn't breathe much less be able to tell her.

There are always potential risks involve with being around any kind of person much less clearly open blood gushing, but could I live with myself ever again if I selfishly walked away from someone who needed help? HIV or not, that would be a heavy weight on your conscience. And that would be the selfish reason why I would help. But I feel such a moral obligation after being helped by someone else that my automatic response always is to help if I can. Unless I had cuts on me the chances of me contracting HIV from her if she was HIV positive would be just that. A chance. A chance I'd be willing to take because I'd hope someone would do the same for me."

Post #4, Sniffle sniffle!

Good morning,
Well sorta. I woke up with a really raspy throat and the sniffles. No fun. General aching... fatigue, and an owwie headache. Yikes, sounds like I'm getting sick! Noooo!!!! Better not be the flu, any sort, I sure can't afford it. Oh wait, it could be the flu, it could be the cold, it could be nothing...

Or...it could be symptoms of HIV? What?! Relating back to the course, I wondered if the symptoms of HIV were different between men and women. The results I found overall were pretty interesting. Although there are some subtle different symptoms more specific to gender, the initial of both sexes are so non-specific, they are hardly good indicators that you need to see a doctor.

According to wrongdiagnosis.com about 1-2 months after exposure, these are the symptoms you can expect:
* Flu-like symptoms
* Fever
* Headache
* Tiredness
* Enlarged lymph nodes
The funny thing is, many individuals don't experience any early infection symptoms at all! Following this phase is the "latent phase" where the same website listed that again, it was likely and still possible to not experience any symptoms at all or possibly,
* Swollen lymph glands

The tricky part is, none of the symptoms listed so far are of course, specific at all to HIV. They are very general symptoms that could be just the flu, or a nasal infection, or something more serious. But none of them actually specific to any condition. Nothing significant enough for someone to automatically think, 'Hey, maybe I need to get tested for HIV.'.

It is not until the early stages of AIDS that the symptoms are really severe enough that I think a normal person would go to the doctor. Even then, I'm not sure that they'd go suspecting they might have HIV.

* Fatigue
* Lack of energy
* Weight loss
* Frequent low-grade fevers
* Night sweats
* Frequent yeast infections (oral or vaginal)
* Vaginal yeast infections
* Bacterial vaginosis
* Abnormal PAP smears
* Genital ulcers - not necessarily from herpes
* Persistent skin rashes
* Flaky skin
* Pelvic inflammatory disease - especially if it is difficult to treat
* Short-term memory loss
* Shingles
* Severe herpes infections
* Abscess

Most of those symptoms may not be specific, but they are bothersome enough for someone to go see a doctor, and hopefully the doctor would encourage them to be tested for HIV. Many of the symptoms are at least a sign of another underlying condition. Many of those listed in the preceding list are more specific to women, such as the vaginal yeast infection and abnormal paps smears. These are two of the most common symptoms in women according to Patrice K. Nicholas, D.N.Sc., M.P.H. who wrote an article for "The Body" website which I've used before entitled Women and HIV: Symptoms and Quality of life in Women.

What about women in other parts of the world? Their symptoms are similar except can be more severe due to their inaccessibility to OTC drugs such as Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen. (The Body)

I have a good feeling this is the cold my roommates keep passing around like a hot potato, but it did make me think twice about why people may not get tested right away. How often have you had flu-like symptoms and thought nothing of it? Hmm....



http://www.thebody.com/content/art2529.html
http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/h/hiv_aids/symptoms.htm






P.S. What is even funnier, and I think I'll never get over this... As I am looking up "Symptoms of HIV", people in close proximity can't seem to keep their g-dang eyes off my screen. Could they think I was suspecting it for myself, maybe that's why they are looking so closely? How bout we all keep our hands on our own keys, and our eyes on our own shiny LCD screens. I'd appreciate that. Even funnier... I guess the one to my right just realized I was probably writing about him... he's packing up and leaving. Awesome. I love blogging! hahahah!!!

Blog #3-Striking Contrast!

I am reflecting on this week's Question of the Week, as if I were interviewing myself, before I ask 3 others how they feel about those questions. Hmm... as the class progresses I definitely feel a deal of growth. I've felt an emotional attachment to many of the assignments and also a great deal of responsibility to invoke a change. This is more than I can say about many of the classes I've taken. I don't typically feel an attachment to numbers and reactions between molecules. But I think perhaps the biggest marker of growth of all for me, has been the sense of guilt I've felt in answering these questions honestly for myself. That sounds a little of kilter, how could guilt be a marker of growth? ...

Did I ever possess a feeling of judgment for someone with HIV? Did I assume anything about their lives or how they contracted the virus, did I believe they participated in risk behaviors and not take the proper precautions? I must have seen the world in black and white...

I realize sometimes that we forget how difficult situations can be with the added pressure of psychology, emotion, societal pressure... Do our decisions ever truly get made without some outside influence, even if we do not let those influences make the decision for us. They are often present nonetheless. I know this is true for me.

I feel as if this growth will transfer into a lot of other facets of my life, and I am really proud of that feeling. It's a striking contrast to the feeling of guilt, the movement to change for the better. And that I believe, ladies and gents, is the definition of progress. So let's progress together!

So on that note, and without judgment, what about women and HIV....


Last week, I ran across The Body website's analysis of the risk factors of men in acquiring HIV. The source pointed out some factors that I hadn't really previously realized or thought through that males as a population are at a higher probability to participate in high risk behaviors such as multiple partners or other "high-risk behavior such as violence, sexual risk-taking, excessive drinking or drug use." These things they attributed to social expectations of men.

This week I was looking at the risk factors specific to women. I wondered if they too would have to do with social stigmas...
Some of the following reasons may seem kind of absurd to us, (especially us very independent women in the class) but they are very real issues faced by women as a group in society.

According to the CDC, women are less like to use protection because:
-"...some women may not insist on condom use because they fear that their partner will physically abuse them or leave them." (CDC 2008.)

-our higher risk is not limited to possibly preventable factors either, what about biology? "A woman is significantly more likely than a man to contract HIV infection during vaginal intercourse." (CDC 2008.)

-this is perhaps the most striking one to me, like in men, a excessive use of alcohol can raise risk for contracting HIV, in women "with a history of child sexual abuse (CSA) or later sexual assault (SA), who it is estimated comprise over 20% of all women" are more likely to use alcohol to the point of intoxication. (University of Washington: Dept of Psych.)


There are a lot of things that bother me about the last fact. 20% of all women have been a victim of of child sexual abuse or sexual assault (which directly or indirectly increases their risk for HIV). As progressive as we have become, 1 in every 5 of women are a part of this group! That's awful!


I would like to see if women are less likely to seek help, or medical care if they suspect they might have HIV, but I haven't found a concrete source yet. More to come.

http://web.psych.washington.edu/research/project.php?GrantID=87
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets/women.htm

Preparedness?

I was replying to someone's answer to the Question of the Week and I wasn't able to find an answer to my own question... it will require further research, but here is an excerpt.

"You know what I wonder though... no one ever goes on a trip anticipating getting into a severe accident or situation like this, if they did, they wouldn't go. But then how would you really prepare for a situation like this? I've heard of people giving blood (their own blood) before a big surgery in anticipation for the possibility of them needed a transfusion, but should we have some on hand while we are away in countries like those in Africa? Is that an even feasible option? I'm not sure how they store blood or how long it keeps out of the body...."

I searched third world country travel, or travel to Africa, and I wasn't able to find one mention to consider the threat of not being able to get a clean blood transfusion, or the threat of HIV in a blood transfusion in the event you would need one. There were warnings for food safety, for getting ripped off because the native peoples will know you are foreign, and mentions of less developed medical care, but no specific mention of blood. I will keep looking, but I hope someone in class will reply if they have any info...

Aloha! There is help!

Aloha!
Hawaii, often considered a paradise (I came back from there right before fall semester started...they had to pry my clenched fingers off the the cabana posts but I came back) has regions that currently facing drug problems and because of the often unsafe needle handling practices associated with illicit drug use, the threat of HIV is as real there as anywhere else. Also as we have learned, HIV doesn't discriminate.

The Maui AIDS Foundation was originally founded to in 1986 as a resource for homosexual men suffering from HIV/AIDS but now is resource available to anyone in the Maui area to help them to "not only to survive with a debilitating and chronic disease but also to live with dignity, honor and respect."

Their webpage can be found at www.mauiaids.org.

Men are from Mars... and Women are from Venus, or was that the other way around?

Men are from Mars... and Women are from Venus, or was that the other way around?

...I never could get that straight, who was from where. The take-home message though seems to be that as human and as one and unified as we can be as a species, men and women still drastically differ. Gender and cultural issues have always fascinate me because so much of our behaviors, and how we make decisions. This concept naturally seeped over to my fascinations with HIV and this class. How do cultural norms and gender roles affect people perceptions of HIV?

There's this great site called "The Body: the complete HIV/AIDS Resource" that I'm sure many of our fellow students have come across, as it's a top hit on google, that offered a whole section of Men, Culture and HIV/AIDS. I've used it in the past as a resource for projects relating to the physiological impacts of HIV, but never realized the wealth of information it possessed for the other impacts. I personally have always thought that gender roles would have affected this topic, but I don't think I ever sat down to consider the specifics, I just knew that they must have since so many HIV statistics are broken down by gender and race. This week I want to look at the psychological issue of the social norms of considered masculinity.

Some people, and I may be guilty of this too at times consider some double standards and dominance of males in many societies as men having it easier. I am finding more and more that this class is causing and requiring me to think outside of the box, and outside of what I'm often naturally inclined to consider without further dissection. When it comes to sexual expectations, I know the most often heard stereotype at least that I've heard is that, if a man is to be sexual active with many partners, he is considered to be a "real man", and if a woman were to do the same, she'd be considered promiscuous. I think to a certain extent, that idea is starting to level out between genders, but on that note, I've always considered that it was many an "advantage" that guys have. They could do what they want, and there would be no stigma towards them. But wait... I've never taken the time to consider that in a way, it is a disadvantage. It is very much a social PRESSURE. I don't know what it's like to be a guy growing up around other guys who all presumably talk about sex and getting girls, and numbers and figures of partners, but I would imagine like anything else that happens while you're growing up...people, particularly young people, just want to belong. We want to be accepted...liked... and fit in. Point blank, I think to some degree, that desire is always there.

So does the pressure of being engaging in dangerous behaviors more concentrated on males? How does this have an affect on the number of men vs. women who are living with HIV or AIDS? Hmmm.....

According to this article, these dangerous behaviors that put men more at risk for becoming infected with HIV are more than just sexual behaviors but also "high-risk behavior such as violence, sexual risk-taking, excessive drinking or drug use." These the website defines as "macho" behavior. An interesting point too was that because of this so-called, "macho" behavior "many women cannot negotiate condom use and are often forced to have unwanted sexual relations". So both sexes face challenges in this way, men are pressured to having multiple partners putting them at greater risk, and women are often pressure to be less dominant/more submissive and have unprotected sex.

The website is: http://www.thebody.com/content/art715.html

Really especially cool, at the end of the article, it has a section called "Ideas for Action" with questions for self questioning and reflection... the first step to change.

I plan on dissecting each of those questions further and looking into more resources in the coming days...

Hello! Good morning, good afternoon and goodnight!

I woke up from the few hours of sleep I got this morning and completely aching all over. I knew it'd be one of those mornings that would be very difficult to get through, and even harder to get over. Whenever I start off the morning in a funk, I can't help sometimes but let it seep over to the rest of the day. I got a nasty email from my boss, and I had a huge exam in a matter of hours. All I could think of was how hard my life was. I continued to complain in my head the whole way to school, then after I found a parking spot in a matter of seconds since it was so early, rather than celebrate (which I normally would have done, a a parking spot does merit some celebrating around here), I continued to think of how hard classes were, how I was really sick of being stuck in the house studying for hours on end without the luxury of knowing for sure I'd end up in medical school or knowing anything for sure for that matter.

I found a seat with an electrical outlet, almost instantly as I walked into the HPA building...this too merited some celebration, but I just buttoned up my sweater and thought about how freezing the room was. Why was God torturing me today? It wasn't bad enough I was aching, exhausted with school, annoyed with work issues, and feeling ragged. I was also going to be freezing cold for the next few hours. I got settled and login to check the usual email, myUCF, then Webcourses and looked at the assignments I had before me.

First was our Question of the Week #2. I had looked at it over the weekend and wondered about how real I wanted it to feel. So I decided to hold off until the week got rolling and look back on it as if it happened over the long weekend. I knew if it had really happened I would have thought about it all weekend and into the work and school week. Something about it being a family member, and something about being the only one who knew made me feel important and needed, and even more concerned. It did feel real, and I realized I didn't know nearly enough abotu HIV to have been there for my virtual cousin. I know this class will make a big difference in how confident and comfortable I feel in the future being able to talk to someone about or with HIV.

Anyway, so once I finished writing my answer to the QOTW, that's when my day began to turn around. I thought about the cousin... how did my little complaints measure up to the amount of worry she had keeping such a big secret to herself? What about how she felt. Sure, I felt achy and tired this morning, but how often did she feel "not-so-good"? How often did she feel cold? How often did she feel alone? I suddenly felt very embarrassed by my attitude this morning. How narcissistic of me... what did I really have to complain about?