I am reflecting on this week's Question of the Week, as if I were interviewing myself, before I ask 3 others how they feel about those questions. Hmm... as the class progresses I definitely feel a deal of growth. I've felt an emotional attachment to many of the assignments and also a great deal of responsibility to invoke a change. This is more than I can say about many of the classes I've taken. I don't typically feel an attachment to numbers and reactions between molecules. But I think perhaps the biggest marker of growth of all for me, has been the sense of guilt I've felt in answering these questions honestly for myself. That sounds a little of kilter, how could guilt be a marker of growth? ...
Did I ever possess a feeling of judgment for someone with HIV? Did I assume anything about their lives or how they contracted the virus, did I believe they participated in risk behaviors and not take the proper precautions? I must have seen the world in black and white...
I realize sometimes that we forget how difficult situations can be with the added pressure of psychology, emotion, societal pressure... Do our decisions ever truly get made without some outside influence, even if we do not let those influences make the decision for us. They are often present nonetheless. I know this is true for me.
I feel as if this growth will transfer into a lot of other facets of my life, and I am really proud of that feeling. It's a striking contrast to the feeling of guilt, the movement to change for the better. And that I believe, ladies and gents, is the definition of progress. So let's progress together!
So on that note, and without judgment, what about women and HIV....
Last week, I ran across The Body website's analysis of the risk factors of men in acquiring HIV. The source pointed out some factors that I hadn't really previously realized or thought through that males as a population are at a higher probability to participate in high risk behaviors such as multiple partners or other "high-risk behavior such as violence, sexual risk-taking, excessive drinking or drug use." These things they attributed to social expectations of men.
This week I was looking at the risk factors specific to women. I wondered if they too would have to do with social stigmas...
Some of the following reasons may seem kind of absurd to us, (especially us very independent women in the class) but they are very real issues faced by women as a group in society.
According to the CDC, women are less like to use protection because:
-"...some women may not insist on condom use because they fear that their partner will physically abuse them or leave them." (CDC 2008.)
-our higher risk is not limited to possibly preventable factors either, what about biology? "A woman is significantly more likely than a man to contract HIV infection during vaginal intercourse." (CDC 2008.)
-this is perhaps the most striking one to me, like in men, a excessive use of alcohol can raise risk for contracting HIV, in women "with a history of child sexual abuse (CSA) or later sexual assault (SA), who it is estimated comprise over 20% of all women" are more likely to use alcohol to the point of intoxication. (University of Washington: Dept of Psych.)
There are a lot of things that bother me about the last fact. 20% of all women have been a victim of of child sexual abuse or sexual assault (which directly or indirectly increases their risk for HIV). As progressive as we have become, 1 in every 5 of women are a part of this group! That's awful!
I would like to see if women are less likely to seek help, or medical care if they suspect they might have HIV, but I haven't found a concrete source yet. More to come.
http://web.psych.washington.edu/research/project.php?GrantID=87
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets/women.htm
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I like your introspection, Christine. It is difficult for individuals to take a good hard look at themselves and see what makes them who they are. Good job.
ReplyDeleteAs for women seeking medical help less often then men, the answer is probably true. Women are always looking after others, children, husbands, parents, that they put their own health on hold. You might want to ask this question of the women who will be coming to the women's panel.
I did the same thing. I started thinking about myself and my misconceptions about HIV and AIDS. I sort of stereotyped HIV as a gay disease or a disease for people who use drugs or have sex with lots of people. Not until seeing all the examples of non-drug using, non-promiscous people who have contracted HIV did I begin to realize that there are many people who get HIV that do not fit in the stereotype.
ReplyDeleteHi Christine. I thought you did a good job. It was neat seeing you question yourself and your motives. It is hard being honest with yourself but I thought you did a good job. The statistics on woman and HIV is concerning. Analyzing myself, I guess I live in a bubble because I was surprised to read that some woman were afraid to tell their man to wear a condom. I find it so sad that they are afraid to speak up. I thought you did a good job on your blog. Agnes Morgan
ReplyDeleteI hate to sound like everyone else, Christine, but this was a great blog - talking about your honesty and growth, so far, in reacting to this course. I remember Teach saying at the orientation that this would be a life altering course for many students.
ReplyDeleteMorgan, many women are still hesitant to ask their sex partner to wear a condom especially if the man responds something like "Why, you don't trust me?"
I am glad I stopped by to read your blog. :>)
Hi Christine, you sound like you're getting it. By that I mean, learning what Teach and Linda had intended for this course. People like you to take it all in and pull from resources and learn, learn, learn. I too am glad I read your blog. It is terrible that so many women are battered and abused. Some have seen it on a personal level and others have experienced it through carelessness. No matter the reason, it is still very wrong to subject ourselves as strong independent women to such situations. I'm a mother of a little boy and teaching him how to treat women in any scenario is my responsibility. That means everything that relates to women from holding the door open to how he treats her in bed. Ugh, this irritates the tar out of me to read about how women are treated in this country. Seriously, good job on the blog can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteChristine, I really connected with your questions, "Did I ever posses a feeling of judgement for someone with HIV? Did I assume anything about their lives or how the contracted the virus, did I believe they participated in risky behaviors and not take the proper precautions?" These are hard questions to answer and to deal with. I find myself keep referring to my friend that contracted HIV an I cannot help it. I never thought I would judge anyone that had HIV but the honest truth is that I found myself asking those same questions. It's hard not to, too be honest. Especially being knowledgeable about how someone contracts HIV. Great blog and great insights :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I did feel a lack of connection at first about HIV and had many preconcieved notions of who got HIV. I think that it is important to look in the mirror at ourselfs first! You really nailed it there. I did judge at first until my own brother was diagnosed. It made it real. This class as really brought out in me a sincere attachment to HIV.
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